Now or Never
by Rikka-chan
Summary: Misao decides to finally tell Aoshi how she feels, but he turns her down. Saitou shows up and offers a case to the Oniwabanshuu that requires a female spy, and Misao takes it, but she has to pose as Saitou's wife! How will Aoshi take this? AxM with a litt
1. Chapter 1

**Now or Never**

**By: Cereis**

**(Rikka-chan)**

Disclaimer: I don't own RK

…but how I long to own Aoshi….

:wishful thinking:

Sighs a deep sigh

**Chapter One**

Tup Tup Tup

The dull sound of the foot steps of wooden slippers softly resonated along the path. A girl holding a tray with all the necessities of a tea ceremony could be seen. She wore a bright read kimono with golden leaves prints and a matching golden obi. The girl was short in stature with long flowing hair down her back and golden ribbon to finish off her stunning appearance.

A small breeze blew the bangs out of her eyes. A look of slight discomfort and worry covered her face.

_Maybe this is a bad idea…_

**Earlier that morning**

"Come on Misao!" Okon whined, pulling Misao up the staircase of the Aoiya.

"It's a great idea! There's no way Aoshi-sama won't notice you this time! You're going to look so beautiful! Omasu said pulling on Misao's other arm.

"I said no damn it! You know how much I hate kimonos! I look so stupid in them!"

"But you _do_ need to start dressing like a real lady now! You're already nineteen."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!"

"Oh Misao, that ninja outfit of yours is just too small for you to wear. It's indecent for a woman your age to wear that old rag." Okon said, panting while still pulling on Misao's arm.

"It is not a rag!" Misao yelled resisting even more- until her hand slipped.

_Crap, this is gonna hurt… _

Misao closed her eyes and braced for impact.

But the hit never came. Instead of the hard thud against the ground she was expecting, she felt warm arms encircle her waist and felt herself being pulled up to a person's chest. The scent of incense and green tea hit her nostrils.

A blush covered her face.

She didn't need to open her eyes to know who had caught her.

_Aoshi-sama…_

_Shit._

Once again, she had succeeded in embarrassing herself in front of her beloved Aoshi-sama.

She slightly leaned in to his embrace.

_Might as well take advantage of this while I can._

"Misao, are you alright?"

The sound of Aoshi's deep voice snapped her back to reality. She tensed and shyly looked up. Aoshi's piercing ice blue eyes peered down at her.

"Yes..I'm alright…"

Aoshi let go of Misao. A look of disappointment briefly covered her face, but only for a second, for she smiled up at him.

"Thanks Aoshi-sama. You can go over to the temple now, I'll go bring you your tea in a few moments." Misao said.

"Aa" Aoshi replied, walking towards the door.

The moment he left the room, Misao slowly slipped to the ground, her head bent, her bangs covering her eyes.

"Oh Misao…."Okon said, walking over to her, Omasu in tow, squatting down next to her, rubbing her back.

"He'll never feel the same for me as I do for him, will he?"

"Don't say that." Omasu scolded.

"He does care for you."

"Yea, but not he way that I want him to!" Misao yelled, now looking up to Okon and Omasu. Tears could be seen coming down her face.

Misao rubbed her eyes. "Well, I have to go bring Aoshi-sama his tea now. I did tell him that I would be bringing his tea a few moments ago." Misao said, a sad smile gracing her tear streaked face.

"Misao, maybe I should take Aoshi-sama his tea toda-."

"No. It's alright. I'll bring it. So, where's that kimono you were talking about?" Looks of concern covered the other two girls' faces, but they complied.

"It's in my room. Come on, we'll help you get dressed."

**Present Time**

_Ok, I can do this. This was my idea. I'll tell Aoshi-sama how I feel, this last and final time. If he doesn't feel the same way, then I'll just give up on him. I don't think my heart can take anymore of this. I would only be a burden to him if I keep on trying anyhow._

Before she knew it, she was at the doors of the temple.

She hesitated before knocking.

"Come in."

She opened the door.

Aoshi's back was turned to her. Misao walked over to where Aoshi sat and placed the tray in front of him. She proceeded to perform the tea ceremony. She did it expertly considering the fact that she did it practically everyday since Aoshi returned from the battle with Shishio.

When she finished, she poured some tea into a cup and handed it to Aoshi. Their fingers brushed slightly. Misao's checks slightly flushed.

"Arigato".

Misao nodded her head, keeping her head down, bangs covering her eyes. Her heart was racing. It thumped loudly in her ears. Her fists were clenched and her knuckles turned white.

**Aoshi's Pov**

Aoshi kept his eyes shut.

When the sound of the tea ceremony ceased, Aoshi opened his eyes. His eyes opened wide in shock.

The sight before him took his breath away.

Misao was in a stunning red kimono with golden leaves designs all over it. She had a matching gold obi and a golden ribbon in her flowing raven hair that was down instead of it's traditional braid.

She looked extremely beautiful.

Aoshi's face immediately returned to its original emotionless state.

Misao didn't see the look on his face when he noticed her appearance for she was pouring tea for him in a cup when he opened his eyes.

He didn't miss the slight flush in her cheeks when she handed him the cup.

"Arigato" he thanked her.

She quickly nodded her head, keeping her eyes to ground, bangs covering the emotion she had on her face.

It was then when he noticed her clenched fists.

"Misao, is there something wrong?" Aoshi asked, concern filling his voice.

**Misao's POV**

"Misao, is there something wrong?" Aoshi asked, concern filling his voice.

Misao tensed when she heard his voice.

_Ok Misao, this is it, you have to do it. It's now or never._

She hesitated before answering.

"Aoshi-sama, I have something to tell you… even though I know you already know." She said keeping her head down.

Aoshi just looked at her.

Misao brought her head up, getting up and moving closer to him. She came up, knelling right in front of him.

"Aoshi-sama- no" Misao paused shaking her head.

"Aoshi," she said looking him the eyes, moving closer, "I love you".

Misao came up to him and kissed him, ever so lightly. She felt him tense. She waited for him to respond. Her heart fell when he didn't. After a moment, she pulled back, eyes downcast, her bangs once again covering her face.

**Aoshi's POV**

He was speechless.

He always knew that Misao had a crush on him, but never in a million years did he expect her to be this forward and kiss him.

He didn't respond to Misao's kiss, but when she moved away, he felt a tinge of sadness at her leaving.

He mentally scolded himself for that.

_No, my soul is too tainted for her. She needs someone better than I who can give her the life she deserves. _

But at the thought of her marrying another, his heart slightly dropped.

He came back to the matter at hand.

"I'm sorry Misao, but I don't share the same feeling for you as you do I." he spoke.

Misao's firsts clenched again.

"Why?" she said in a whisper.

"I am too tainted for you. You deserve much better than me. You deserve someone who can make you happy and give you a good life."

"Don't you understand!" Misao shouted, her head now up, looking him in the eye. Tears were streaming down her face.

His heart dropped yet again at the sight of her tears.

"I love you! I won't be happy with anyone else! You are the only one for me!"

"No Misao, it's not love, it's only a childish cru-"

"Damn it Aoshi-sama! I'm not a child anymore. So how can it be a childish crush! I always have, and always will love you." Her voice when from shouting to a whisper.

"Why can't you just give me a chance….."

The tears continued to come down her face.

**Misao's POV**

Suddenly, Misao was being pulled forward.

She was pulled against Aoshi's chest, his arms winding around her. Her head laid in the crook of his neck, and his head rested against hers.

"Misao, we can't….." he said, eyes averted. . "I'm sorry…"

Misao reveled in his embrace.

Then as soon as she was pulled, she pushed away from him.

"Ok, I understand." She said, keeping her head down. She gathered the tray and all the items she brought and placed them on it. Then she left the temple, tears streaming down her face.

When she neared the entrance of the Aoiya, a voice shook her out of her trance.

"Weasel. Long time no see."

She looked up to the smirking face of Saitou Hajime.

"Shut up Saitou." She said glaring at him.

When she looked up, Saitou noticed Misao's tear streaked face.

**Saitou's POV**

He walked into Misao's path, stopping her, but she kept her head down.

"What do you want?" she said venomously, still keeping her head down.

Saitou took his hand and brought Misao's chin up.

Misao's eyes were red and puffy and her face was tear-streaked.

Concern lightly covered Saitou's face.

"Tears don't suit you. What happened?"

Misao looked away and bit her lip, her bottom chin trembling.

"_None of your business._"

"Was it Shinomori?"

Misao winced at his name.

_Guess it was._

Misao suddenly dropped the tray to her side and latched onto Saitou.

"What the hell-"

Misao grabbed onto Saitou's waist.

"Just this once…just…just hold me…"

Saitou just stood there, arms up in the air, deciding in where or not he should.

…_I can't believe I'm going to do this…_

Deciding to give in, he wrapped his arms around her waist, slightly bending over, resting his chin on top off her head, rubbing he back.

**Misao's POV**

Misao softly started to cry into Saitou's uniform, feeling slight comfort in his arms, despite who he was.

"Shhh. It's ok." Saitou said softly, rubbing her back, slightly rocking her.

A few minutes passed, Misao still in Saitou's arms.

"What the hell are you doing Saitou?" a deep venomous voice sounded.

Misao gasped.

_Oh shit!_

Saitou and Misao's heads snapped over to where the voice came from.

Infuriated ice blue eyes peered over at them.

* * *

YAY! i finished my first chapter! yay for Cereis!

If you like my story, then REVIEW! for reviews make me update! the more the reviews, the more sooner i am to update! so..

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

-Cereis out


	2. Chapter 2

**Now or Never**

**By: Cereis**

**(Rikka-chan)**

Disclaimer: I don't own RK

…but how I long to own Aoshi….

:wishful thinking:

Sighs a deep sigh

**Chapter 2**

**Aoshi's POV- few minutes before in the temple**

Aoshi sat motionless, still in the same spot where Misao had left him. She had confessed her feelings to him. And she had kissed him.

_Kissed him._

He could still barely feel the lingering warmth on his lips from where she had gently grazed her lips against his. _Those soft timid lips…_

He sighed and brought a hand up to his temple to massage it. He remembered the outfit Misao had worn. She no longer had all those childish features anymore. She looked much…older. Dare he say, like a woman?

When had she grown up? And right under his nose. Maybe her infatuation was no longer just a childish notion. She was nineteen. Most girls here age were married with children. Just possibly, maybe, could it be…love?

Aoshi shook his head.

No it couldn't be. It was impossible. He had committed too many sins to even know what love is anymore, more or less to even be loved. It couldn't and would never be. She would get over it with time. There are plenty of men out there who would be perfectly suitable for Misao. A man who would be able to support her and give her the happy life she deserves. He would _personally_ make sure of that.

But for some reason, her words wouldn't stop ringing in his head.

'_I love you! I won't be happy with anyone else! You are the only one for me!'_

The image of Misao's tears kept on popping into his mind. The feeling of her lips were still there. The feeling wouldn't leave him, as though they would be forever imprinted into his mind and senses.

He shook his head again and got up. It was nearing the afternoon and Okina requested his presence with him on some private Oniwabanshuu matters. It could possibly be a new case, or either one of Okina's antics to try to get Aoshi to go out and 'live life to the fullest' in Okina's words.

He shuddered at the memory of the last time Okina had gotten him drunk. It wasn't very pleasant morning the day after. Not to mention all the teasing he had gotten for doing a number of embarrassing things while under the influence that shall not be named. Of course he didn't remember a thing he had done while drunk making all the more entertaining for the rest of the Oniwabanshuu watching him try to figure out what was going on. But of course, after one of his tradition ice glares, they left him alone and went along with their work, only giggling around him beneath their breaths.

He started coming up the final path up to the Aoiya when he saw two figures in the distance.

_Must be a couple in the streets._

He averted his attention else where to try to give them some privacy. When he drew nearer, he couldn't help but look over to the couple again. The girl's clothing was bright red and it's golden prints were glimmering in the sun light.

_Hm, where have I seen an outfit of that similar design before?_

It looked extremely familiar.

Then it hit him.

"_I love you! I won't be happy with anyone else! You are the only one for me!"_

And it hit him hard.

_Misao! What is she doing! Who is that man! And why is he holding her so intimately! Who the hell does he think he is!_

He picked up his pace a little. When he drew nearer, the breeze blew down hill from Misao and the man to him. The faint scent of cigarettes could be picked up. Coming even closer, he recognized the dark blue uniform and slicked back hair.

He stopped dead in his tracks.

_Saitou?_

_Who the hell does he think is is!_

Aoshi's hands reflexively felt for his kodachis, but they weren't there.

Aoshi silently cursed himself. Ever since he got back, he only used his twin kodachis when he was training.

He saw how Saitou was holding Misao…and how Misao was practically attached to him. Saitou had one arm around Misao's waist, the other only a bit higher, his hand rubbing her back. He had his head resting against Misao's. Misao had her arms wrapped around Saitou's waist, her head pressing into his chest. By their feet, the tray that Misao had brought back from the temple was in disarray.

Neither of them had seemed to notice or sense Aoshi's presence.

Aoshi's blood boiled at the sight, all he saw was red.

"What the hell are you doing Saitou?"

Aoshi saw them both tense and snap their heads in his direction. Saitou had look of surprise and Misao had a look of terror on her face and immediately pushed herself away from Saitou.

**Misao's POV**

"Aoshi-sama!" Misao exclaimed and pushed Saitou away.

The sight that lay before Misao's eyes scared her. Aoshi's face was filled with rage. His hands were clenched at his side and his knuckles were white. His head was slightly lowered, his bangs hanging lowly in his eyes. Even with his hair partially covering his face, his eyes were still as piercing as ever, peering over at Saitou.

_Oh shit!_

Finally regaining the use of her voice, she shakily broke the heavy tension in the air.

"A-are you finished a-at the temple already? Did you need anything?" she asked, fighting to keep a straight face with a small smile. But her smile more came out as a grimace due to her instilled fear.

"Why are you here Saitou?" Aoshi asked, ignoring Misao completely, his voice dangerously low.

Saitou, startled at first from being pushed back so suddenly, regained his composure. He was looking back at Aoshi, glaring at him.

_What the hell is that pissed off look for? I suppose hatred runs that deep for ice block here…_

Then a realization hit him.

_Wait._

_Could it be…?_

_No._

_But then again…_

_Maybe…_

_Just maybe._

Saitou looked from Aoshi's angry face to Misao's terrified one. A smirk slowly made it's way across Saitou's face.

_If so, then this is going to be a fun game to play._

"Shinomori, is that the way to greet an old acquaintance?"

"Why are you here Saitou?" Aoshi asked again, irritation and anger more prominent in his voice.

"Why the mad face Shinomori? Is it because you hate me that much?"

"I'll ask you one last time. _Why are you here Saitou?_" Aoshi asked again, his voice lower than before.

"Or maybe it's because I was holding you _lover_ here?"

At that statement, Aoshi disappeared from sight. All of a sudden Saitou was on the ground. Blood was dripping from his lip to his chin and his hand was holding his left cheek.

"Guess it was the latter." He murmured to himself.

Saitou jumped back up and stood in a defensive stance looking for where and when Aoshi was going to attack again.

Saitou stood there, eyes looking around. Aoshi was no where to be seen. Saitou suddenly moved his left hand in front of his right cheek, catching Aoshi's punch. He pulled his fist, bringing Aoshi's face closer to his. Aoshi's eyes widened in surprise.

_How did he know my attack?_

"You know, you're so readable when your emotions are running like this." Saitou sneered into his face and punched his left check sending Aoshi flying backwards. He landed on his feet and stood in an offensive position a few feet away.

"No! Stop it! Stop fighting!" Misao screamed.

But neither of them seemed to notice her, they kept on going. Aoshi and Saitou were exchanging blow for blow. Then they hit each other simultaneously and both flew backwards and fell into offensive stances.

Aoshi stood strong, a bead of sweat falling off his nose.

_If I only had my kodachis, this would have been over a long time ago…_

Saitou took in another quick breath.

_Damn, he's got it bad, and he doesn't even know it._

"Stop fighting!" Misao screamed one more time and threw herself around Aoshi's waist from behind.

Aoshi suddenly felt something wrap around him from behind. He looked down. Or rather it was someone who was on him.

_Misao?_

Aoshi snapped back to reality.

All the things that happened in the past few moments all ran through his head at once. It was all too much for his brain to comprehend at once. Questions also started flying through his head.

_What was he doing! Why was he so worked up about Misao being in the arms of another man! He should be happy that she's found someone. But then again, the man was Saitou. She shouldn't have been in his arms to begin with! So why was she?_

Then a thought came to him, his heart slightly dropping.

_Maybe they have been having a relationship behind his back…_

He shook his head at the thought.

_No that was impossible. She despised Saitou, not to mention that she would never have been able to keep such a secret away from him, more or less Okina and the others._

_So what was she doing? _

_Wait, why was Saitou even here?_

"Aoshi, Saitou. That will be enough."

Aoshi, Saitou, and Misao all looked over.

"Aoshi, Saitou. Come with me." Okina said sternly. Then he turned to Misao, a small smile on his face.

"Misao, go fetch us some tea, will you? Make it green tea. Bring it to my office when it's ready." He said with a light smile on his face and then walked away.

_We're definitely going to need that…_

They all just stared after him in silence for a moment. Aoshi and Saitou glanced at each other.

"Another day for you to live." Saitou said walking away.

Aoshi glared.

"Oh, and next time, don't wear your emotions on your sleeve. Our fight was quite disappointing, I was expecting more from you Shinomori." He added over his shoulder.

Aoshi's eyes narrowed at Saitou's retreating figure.

Silence passed, Aoshi's thoughts remaining on Saitou's words. Then, he started to hear a low growling noise. It seemed to get louder as the seconds passed by. He looked around and noticed that it was coming from beneath him. Misao was still attached to him by the hip. Her head down and slightly shaking..

"Who does he think he is!" Misao exclaimed suddenly, snapping her head up.

"Aoshi-sama, I think you did great! If you only had your kodachis, you would have finished that fight sooner!" she said looking up to him.

Aoshi looked down at Misao.

"Misao, I have to go."

"Huh?"

Misao looked up at Aoshi again and realized how close she was to him. Her checks slightly flushed. She looked down and realized that her arms were around Aoshi's waist still.

_Crap!_

She immediately took them off.

"Eh heh heh… sorry about that." She stuttered looking at the ground while scratching her head.

"Don't forget to bring Okina the tea he requested." Aoshi said, walking in the same direction Saitou and Okina had left.

Aoshi sighed.

_I could use some of that tea right now…_

* * *

and there's chapter two! I thank all who reviewed! it made me feel so special : )

so please, keep the reviews coming!

the mroe you review, the more sooner i'll update! ; )

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW


	3. Chapter 3

**Now or Never**

**By: Cereis**

**(Rikka-chan)**

Disclaimer: I don't own RK

…but how I long to own Aoshi….

:wishful thinking:

Sighs a deep sigh

lol, isn't it funny how i always start off my chapters w/ the same thing? anyways...sorry for not updating in a baziillion years! school started and extra curricular activities got in the way! ...not to mention my boss...mutters curses under breath but anyways, here's the new chappie! i hope u like it!

i would also like to thank all my reviewers! i love u all!

Chapter 3

Aoshi slowly treaded down the hall, the sound of his foot steps barely resonating off the walls. His mind was a swarm of thoughts and questions that needed to be sorted out. Number one, why had he reacted so violently towards Saitou for being so close to Misao? Number two, why was Saitou even there? Number three, why was Misao hugging Saitou like that, more or less him even returning the embrace? And number four, Why was she even with that sadistic bastard in the first place?

These questions, along with many more were storming through his brain like a monsoon hitting a tiny island. But before he could thoroughly sort through his mind, he had reached the door to Okina's office. There would surely be some extensive meditating later in the temple on a tatami mat with his name on it.

He took in a breath, attempting to regain his composure before knocking on the shoji.

"Come in."

Aoshi entered the room and silently closed the door behind him. He took a brief look around.

Okina's office was slightly different than other offices. It was more of a comfort room rather than an office. He had changed the style ever since the Meiji Era had begun, from what he had heard Misao rattling on to him one time she brought him his tea. His old office desk now stood in a corner, somewhat dusty from lack of use, its luster started to fade. In the center of the room was a rectangular black low western style coffee table. Around it were matching western style seats he heard Okina say that were leather, two of which were occupied by Okina on one side and Saitou on the other.

"Aoshi, have seat." Okina said, motioning to the seat next to Saitou. He nodded his head and took a seat. Saitou sat somewhat relaxed in his chair, observing the room while holding a cigarette in his mouth, his left hand, inside his navy blue officer's jacket fishing for his lighter. Successfully finding his silver lighter, he flipped it open and lighted his cigarette all in one fluid motion.

The three sat momentarily in silence.

Only the sound of the koi pound and a small waterfall could be heard in the silence of the room from the backyard through a window.

Saitou continued to look around the room while puffing on his cigarette.

Aoshi sat there, waiting for someone to break the silence.

"You have good taste in western furniture. I'm quite impressed." Saitou voiced, the silence finally broken.

Okina, obviously not expecting the words that came out of Saitou's mouth, quickly recovered. Aoshi looked on with an impassive look on his face.

"Why thank you, I am rather fond of the west's style in furniture." Okina said with a small smile, rubbing the armrest of the chair with his hand.

"But of course, now isn't the time to discuss different styles of furniture. I do believe that you came here for a reason did you not, Saitou?" Okina's small smile disappeared, immediately replaced by a look of seriousness.

Saitou took another drag of his cigarette.

"Che, never liked the small talk anyways." Saitou muttered, flicking his cigarette into the ash try conveniently located on top of the coffee table. He sat up from his once comfortable position.

"Seiji Okita, age twenty-nine, lives in Yokohama. He is the son of one of the biggest trading merchants in Japan, Seiji Arashi. Lately, Seiji Okita's wife, Okita Yumi, has been getting death threats."

Aoshi listened in silence, looking calm and composed on the outside, but his mind was flying on the inside. A presence suddenly caught his attention. He smirked to himself, Misao was on the other side of the door listening to everything. Leaving his thoughts, Aoshi once again continued to listen in on the case.

"They have hired body guards to come in to protect Seiji's wife, but they won't be sent for about a month's time, more or less. You mission is simple, protect the Seiji household undercover until the permanent bodyguards come in."

Aoshi and Okina looked at each other and exchanged glances.

"It sounds simple enough, but it's little to simple for your tastes Saitou. Is that all the information?" Aoshi asked, skepticism in his voice.

"Hm." Saitou grunted, while reaching for his cigarette from the ashtray, a smirk forming on his face.

He took another drag from it before continuing. He momentarily flickered his eyes towards the door.

"The agent you send has to female."

Aoshi's stomach dropped at this new line of information, while the object of his distress proceeded to ungracefully kick the door open

"I'LL TAKE IT!" Misao screamed, with the tray of tea rattling dangerously in hand.

He's stomach dropped even more.

He knew she was there, hence the dread that appeared in his stomach. But, just for a moment, he prayed just this once, that if he willed it hard enough, just maybe she would suddenly not be behind the door. That Kami-sama would suddenly transport her to some other part of the house during the last sentence that came out of Saitou's mouth, then reappear behind the door. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

"No." Aoshi voice sternly.

"Why not!" Misao retaliated, roughly putting the poor tray of tea down on the table and turned back towards Aoshi. Aoshi slightly cringed at the sight of the pot of tea nearly falling over.

"You are not ready for this mission." Aoshi replied, now standing up, his thoughts now back on the issue at hand. He walked towards her, giving her a hard gaze.

"I've taken on more dangerous things than this!" Misao snapped back.

Aoshi turned around and let out a frustrated breath.

"You are _too_ young."

"I'm _nineteen_ I'll have you know!"

"A _nineteen years old child_."

A look of hurt crossed her face. She motioned to say another comeback, but shut her mouth and looked at the ground in defeat.

He knew he made a cheap shot, but if it got Misao not to go, then it was worth it. He would make it up to her later.

He looked back at her over his right shoulder. His body tensed. It took every ounce of his strength not to walk over there, take her in his arms and tell her he was sorry. To tell her the real reason why he didn't want her to go. But he held back.

Looking at the ground, she slowly brought her head up, bitterness in her eyes with fresh tears forming ready to pour out.

"If I'm a nineteen year old child now, then what was I three years ago chasing _you_ around Japan?", she spoke softly.

Aoshi's eyes widened.

"Misao!" Okina scolded.

She brought her hand up to her mouth. The moment those words came out of her mouth, she immediately regretted them. She fled from the room, tears falling from her eyes.

He froze. Hurt now flashed across Aoshi's impassive face. He looked down away from the spot where Misao stood. The once emotionless mask started to crack.

"…I'm sorry Misao…for putting you through all that pain…" Aoshi spoke, his voice barely a whisper, inaudible to anyone but himself.

Aoshi stood in silence. Okina and Saitou sat in their chairs behind him. Okina had a worried look on his face, Saitou just sat there watching.

Okina cleared his throat.

"Aoshi, lets continue this later. Come to my office after dinner-"

"No. Let us finish the briefing now." Aoshi said, once again taking his seat at the table. His mask of ice returned to his face.

Okina looked at Aoshi, not wanting to continue, but hesitantly agreed and nodded for Saitou to continue.

Saitou took a puff of his cigarette, having rescued it from the ashtray, unable to resist the cancer stick. -Author note: smoking equals cancer which equalsdeath. that is all!

"For this case, no matter how much I detest the idea, I do think that Misao would be best suited for this position. She is by far the most qualified from my personal experience." Saitou said.

"I would have to agree." Okina replied.

"No. She is _too_ young. She is only nineteen years old-"

"_You _yourself became Okashira at fifteen years of age Aoshi." Okina argued, cutting Aoshi off.

"You of all people should be able to understand this situation. You have been training her for about two and a half years now. You know all of what Misao is capable of. She is your ward, and the current Okashira. She should not be taken lightly."

"I still think that she is not ready." Aoshi continued.

"I may have trained her for the past two and a half years, but she still has a long path of training ahead of her."

"I have seen her training on her own time. Her form is nearly perfect, and her aim has become a great deal better. It is obvious that your training has greatly improved her skill as a Oniwabanshuu." Okina said, stroking his beard.

_Her form has gotten better, along with her aim._ He couldn't deny that. But, it didn't Aoshi from worrying about her getting herself into trouble or getting hurt.

"Fine. I give my consent for Misao to go on this mission."

Okina gave a sigh relief, Saitou just puffed on his cigarette.

"But," Aoshi continued.

Okina and Saitou looked at Aoshi.

"She will not go alone. I too will go with Misao on this mission. Under these pretenses, I will support this mission."

Saitou sighed in his seat, all the while exhaling silver wisps of smoke from his lips.

"Shinomori, why must you always be so difficult?" Saitou said, shaking his head.

"But, I did predict this. You will also go with Weasel on this mission."

Aoshi and Okina nodded in agreement.

"Then it's settled. Misao and Aoshi will go undercover together on this mission."

"Here is the case file. Look over it, all the details are in the file. We'll meet at the train station in a week's time." Saitou handed a brown folder to Aoshi.

Aoshi took the folder, nodding his head.

All three stood up and headed outside of Okina's office.

"Aoshi, I would like you to bring the case file to Misao's office." Okina said, but with a look in his eye that screamed 'make up with Misao _now_'.

"Aa." Aoshi answered and walked off in the direction of the Okashira's office.

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yay! now it's the best part! REVIEW! if u want me to update and write better chapters than the one i just wrote, then REVIEW! i'll update faster if u REVIEW! so...REVIEW! I LOVE U ALLL!

oh yes, and i would like to thank the reviews again b/c i was looking at them the other night and they inspired me to write again and update : )

-cereis out


	4. Chapter 4

**Now or Never**

**By: Cereis**

**(Rikka-chan)**

Disclaimer: I don't own RK

…but how I long to own Aoshi….

:wishful thinking:

Sighs a deep sigh

yay-ness! i'm back! after how many long months of not update? sorry bout the long wait folks, just been really busy w/ school, during the school year, and workduring the summer, but none the less, i am here w/ a new chapter! well, to be truthful, i had the majority of this chapter already written for a couple months now, and even had it deta read! but i didn't finish the ending cuz eveything o wrote just osunded to corny for me... but i finally finished it today. hopefully u won't think this chapter is too wierdly wirtten. i just re-read it, and aoshi seemed kinda...ooc-ish i think is the word? i dunno but he just came out as wierd to me. i promise to make a better chapter next time if this one isn't to ur liking!

enough stallling! here is the chapter!

**Chapter 4**

Aoshi made his way down the hall. The scent of kitsune udon floated its way towards his nose. The kitchen was about a few doors away from the office. Inhaling the scent brought a small smile to Aoshi's lips.

_Hm, kitsune udon. Her favorite._

A flashback of Misao when she was younger, stuffing her face, popped into his mind.

He shook his head in amusement at the thought of the pleasant memory.

While walking, Omasu's head appeared next to the shoji frame of the kitchen.

"Oh, Aoshi-sama. Could you tell Misao that dinner will be ready soon? We made her favorite, kitsune udon."

"Aa." Aoshi replied, his usual monosyllable answer to every question he received, and continued on his way to Misao's office.

When he reached the door, he paused. It was time to face the inevitable. He knew that Misao was upset at him. He promised to himself that he would make it up to her after making such a low blow to her ego. He knew how much she had tried to catch his eye by trying to act and dress more maturely. And to have you know, he noticed every single attempt, even though on the outside he still looked like the same impassive block of ice.

All the attempts showed him just how much Misao grew up, especially a few that to this day still managed to get a tiny flush across his cheeks when he thought about it. It took all of his will power not to ravage her lithe form then and there on the floor from her last attempt. That skimpy outfit and bright blush across her cheeks still sent shivers down his spine. But, he didn't want her to change. What he liked most of all about her was her natural, caring, genki self. Though her freely expressed emotions and hot temper did tend to get her into trouble at times, it was what he most loved about her. But of course, he would never admit that fact to anyone. He was barely able to even admit that fact to himself. If anyone didn't deserve her love, it was him. A monster like himself didn't even know what love was like anymore.

He committed too many sins and had put her through so much pain, that he didn't believe himself worthy to even be in her presence. Not to mention the guilt of the death of his four loyal followers and close friends still hung on his shoulders. But, the weight of that burden has been partially lifted all thanks to one person.

_Her._

The person whom he would _never_ be able to have or love.

_"If I'm a nineteen year old child now, then what was I three years ago chasing you around Japan?"_

The words ceased to stop resonating in his head.

_"If I'm a nineteen year old child now,"_

_No…_

He shut his eyes. A fifteen-year-old version of himself was watching a five-year-old Misao sleeping soundly.

_", then what was I three years ago chasing you around Japan?"_

_No…_

His right fist was tightly clenched, the case file dropped to the floor. Visions of Hannya teaching Misao Kenpo now flashed through his mind.

_"If I'm a nineteen year old child now"_

_No…_

His body started to tremble slightly. He saw his four followers all get shot down by a gattling gun in his place.

_",then what was I three years ago,"_

_No…_

He brought his left hand up to his head, covering his eyes and clenched his jaws. The same scene replayed in his mind, but this time, instead of his four friends, it was Misao's limp body that lay in front of Aoshi.

_"chasing YOU around Japan?"_

_NO!_

"Aoshi-sama?" a small hand lightly touched his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" concern covered Misao's face.

**Misao's POV**

Aoshi grabbed Misao by the side of her arms, still shaking slightly. He was also breathing a little hard.

"Aoshi-sama? What's wrong? You're shaking!" worry now covered Misao's small face. She brought her right hand up to grab one of Aoshi's hands on her arm. His hand was clammy and there was a light sheen of sweat on his forehead. Aoshi's eyes were blank, as if in a trance.

What was wrong with him?

"Aoshi-sama, what's wrong? You're scaring me." She brought her free hand up to Aoshi's shoulder and let go of the hand she holding for cup his left cheek.

"Aoshi-sama? Aoshi-sama?"

**Aoshi's POV**

_…Aoshi…_

…

_…Aoshi…_

…what…?

_…Aoshi …come back to me…_

…is some one…calling me?

_…Aoshi…wake up…_

…what?

_WAKE UP!_

Aoshi shot out of his trance, his eyes returning to their normal state.

"Aoshi-sama?"

Aoshi looked downwards towards Misao. She looked worried and fright covered her face, tears were forming in her eyes.

"Aoshi-sama!" Misao cried out and threw her arms around Aoshi's neck. Aoshi's body stiffened.

"Oh my gosh, I-I was s-so worried!" she spoke, her face pressed against his yukata.

Aoshi stood there, not quite certain what to do. Also wondering whom it was that was calling him back to reality. Was it Misao?

He mentally shook his head, pushing that thought aside. His brain finally decided to kick in as he tentatively wrapped his arms around her waist. The flashes of what he had seen shook him to the core. He tightened his grip around her, holding her more closely to himself. He could feel the warmth of her body and the light beat of her pulse. He sighed in relief at knowing that Misao was perfectly alive and safe in his arms, and not in the state he had seen in his dream.

Aoshi could feel the wetness of Misao's tears against his neck and chest, soaking his yukata. He could still hear her crying a little bit and sniffing.

"It's alright Misao, I'm fine." He spoke softly, lowering his head to her ear, trying to stop her tears.

"…I was just so scared…" she whispered.

Her body trembled slightly, feeling Aoshi's breath against her ear and neck.

_Oh…_

A small blush covered her checks at the feeling of Aoshi's body so close to hers. He was so close that she could feel the heat from his body leaving him and slowing melding into her own, and his breath lightly brushing against her neck and ear. She had only dreamed of being in his arms this way, and yet here she was standing in his arms in one of the hallways of the Aoiya. Even though she knew he was only holding her to comfort her, it didn't matter. All that mattered at the moment was that she was with him. End of story.

…but oh….the sensations he was making her feel without him even meaning to…

She gripped his yukata in her fists and rested her head against his chest. A few moments pass, Aoshi allowing Misao a couple of minutes to settle down.

"Misao?"

"…"

"Misao?"

"…"

Hm, she seems to have stopped crying, but her body is still shaking…

Aoshi sighed.

Misao trembled.

Aoshi's eyebrow rose in confusion.

"Hm?"

Misao trembled again.

He opened him mouth to speak, but let out a small breath in confusion instead, feeling his breath bounce off Misao's neck.

Once again, she trembled.

He stood there, thinking to himself what was wrong. Then it hit him.

His eyes widened slightly at his realization.

_She's trembling because of me!_

Aoshi paused uncertain of what to do. Then an idea came to mind. But he quickly shunned himself at the thought.

_No…I shouldn't. That would be wrong… I am only holding her now because I had caused her tears. I am only comforting her._

He looked down at her smooth creamy neck, temptation building in him to the fullest.

_No! I will not! I am too tainted… She will find a much better man than I._

Aoshi clenched his teeth for a moment to reassure himself. Self-control had always been one of the best qualities that he prided himself of. And slowly in that moment, it was all being torn down piece by piece.

No, not in that moment. For the past three years. This girl-no, this woman has always been by his side no matter how many times he had tried to turn her away. Maybe she was right. Maybe it wasn't a childish crush after all. Had he been blind this whole time because of his one-track mind, denying himself happiness for the rest of his life? That because of that, he caused the one and only person who actually cared for him to suffer?

Maybe she was right and he was wrong. Or maybe his thinking was disoriented from being to close to her. Her could smell her, the faint traces of jasmine, slowly intoxicating his mind and blurring his rational thinking.

Involuntarily, his head moved closer to Misao's neck while he was buried in his thoughts, as if his nose was leading him to the soft jasmine scent coming off of her. It was when his lips, slightly parted, were almost touching her ear when he noticed how close he was to her. At that moment, something cracked.

_Maybe…_

_Maybe just this once…_

He lightly blew against Misao ear.

And, as he predicted, she shivered.

A small smirk appeared on his face, barely visible. He moved his mouth to her ear, lips scantly brushing them, as if by accident, as he spoke to her.

"Misao…,"

Her grip on the back of his yukata tightened involuntarily.

"M-i-s-a-o," he spoke again, dragging her name out a little longer than normal.

She trembled, also futilely stifling a moan.

He gently grazed the shell of her ear with his teeth, his hot breath sending un-endless shivers down he spine.

"A-Aoshi-sama…" She moaned heavily into his yukata, Aoshi barely being able to hear it.

At that moment, his self-control had slipped just enough, allowing his irrational side to win the battle in his mind of thoughts.

Aoshi's grip on Misao's body tightened. A surge of lust suddenly raced through his body at the sound of the want and desire in her voice.

Unable to resist just his teeth on her ear, he nipped it slightly, then moved his mouth to a sensitive area of her neck. His lips lightly brushed against her neck before pulling back slightly as if hesitating, making Misao's small moans cease temporarily.

He bit her neck, none too lightly, Misao crying out a little. The cry soon turned into a moan after he darted his tongue out against the bite before lowering his lips to continue the ministrations that he had stopped before. His touches gradually turned from light and uncertain to rough and passionate, Misao's moans being his fire. He moved back to that sensitive area of her neck and bit it once again.

Misao let out a louder moan, at the wave of pleasure that went through her body. Her hands released the grip on his yukata, one hand gripping the back of his neck while the other slid her fingers through his silky hair. She had waited forever to be in his arms like this, to run her hands through his jet black hair, for him to do things like this to her. It was pure heaven, and Aoshi was her guardian angel.

And after that thought crossed her mind, she immediately felt his lips crush against her own. She passionately returned it once she was able to comprehend what was happening. He slipped her tongue inside her mouth and playfully brushed it against her own, eliciting moans from her and she passionately returned the favor.

They pulled back to get a breath of air, both panting with their eyes closed. Aoshi was the first to open his eyes.

"Misao… this isn't right…" he said, turning his head slightly, averting his eyes.

Misao grabbed the collar of Aoshi's yukata and pulled him into another passionate kiss, then pulled back. Aoshi's eyes were hazed and had a look of longing in them, his lips slightly parted.

"Well, you not exactly fighting me are you?" Misao said with a smirk, and chastely kissed on the lips before diving for another long one.

Aoshi stopped and pushed her back a little further than before. "No! We must stop, this isn't right." he said with a look of desperation across his face. Of course it was only lightly visible, it being Aoshi-sama, but none the less spelled out how alarmed he was.

Misao looked up, with a little bit of confusion and hurt in her eyes. She bit her lip placed her hands on his, and looked deeply into his eyes. "Aoshi-sama, is that what you really want?"

Aoshi lowered his head a little, his bangs covering his eyes as he thought.

"Yes, that is what I want." He spoke, his bangs still concealing what his eyes might give away.

Misao stiffened under his grasp.

"Because if I don't stop now, I might never be able to stop." Aoshi spoke under his breath, his grip tightening then loosening slightly on her arms.

"What? I couldn't hear you, your mumbling." Misao said moving a little closer.

Aoshi tensed as the little amount of space between them lessened.

"Oh, Misao-chan!" Okina's voice rang down the hall

_Jiya!_

Oof!

Aoshi shoved Misao away from him, turning down the hall away from Okina's voice, not turning back.

"Lunch is ready! We made kitsune udon!" Okina said joyfully, turning the corner and trotted over to his favorite adopted granddaughter.

Misao looked sadly once more towards the direction that Aoshi had retreated before slapping on one of her genki smiles that she learned to make on a moments notice.

"Really? Great, I love kitsune udon!" Misao said, grabbing Okina's arm, dragging him towards the kitchen. Okina looked at her, his smile faltering slightly at seeing this fake smile, but quickly regained his composure and allowed himself to be lead on towards the table.

* * *

alritey then! what's u think of the chapter? to corny? to ooc? tell me what u think, and u don't have to be nice, i'll take flames this time cuz i wan't too sure bout the chappie... 

so please REVIEW! i'll try to update sooner than last time is u REVIEW!

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

ooo, and i'd like to thank all the reviewers, u guys are the ones who keep me writting. i'd prolly stop writting if u guys didn't review those wonderful reviews for me

-cereis out


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